Untold pasts
by BlueFireIce
Summary: Botan gets attacked by Hiei's father, who informs Hiei of what Botan holds inside herself because of her past. Botan can't remember her past, so her and Hiei break into Spirit World Files. What will they find? xx Currently on Hiatus xx
1. The attack

**Sickness**

**DISCLAIMER:I don't own yu yu hakusho**

The group was at Botan's House (A/N yes she lives in a house not an apartment) and they were just sitting around her table eating. It was just something Botan did every Saturday. The whole group went to Botan's house to eat and talk. She did this so they remained friends. They didn't have as many missions and if they did have some, they took like 3 or 4 hours to finish.

"So Yusuke what has been happing with you?" Botan asked trying to make conversation. Yusuke lifted his head and glanced over at Kieko and then looked back at Botan.

"Kieko and I are engaged." Yusuke announced. Everyone (with the exception of Hiei) started congratulating him. Finally they went back to eating.

"What has been going on with you Botan?" Kurama asked.

"Nothing much has been going on. What about You Kurama?" Botan asked him. Kurama smiled.

"Shizuru is pregnant." Kurama said proudly. Shizuru blushed and Kuwabara looked at Shizuru.

"So I'm going to be an uncle?" Kuwabara yelled, "I am too young to be an uncle!"

Shizuru smacked him upside the head and he fell over, unconscious.

"Has anyone noticed how much weaker Kuwabara has gotten?" Yusuke asked.

"No, He's always been that weak" Hiei replied. Yusuke nodded his head in agreement.

Botan announced that dessert was ready and she was going to get it. Botan got up and went into the kitchen. There wasn't any sound for awhile then there was a crash and the sound of something hitting the floor. Then there was nothing.

Kurama shot up from his chair as so did Yusuke, Kuwabara and Hiei.

They all ran into the kitchen to find Botan lying on the floor, a plate broken right beside her, and a bunch of cookies scattered everywhere.

All the boys rushed to her side.

"Botan? Botan? Botan!" Yusuke yelled. Botan didn't move. Kurama rolled her over onto her back and saw a little bit of blood trickle down her face. Glass from the plate must have hit her. Then all the girls came rushing in.

Yukina went to Botan's side and healed the scratch and wiped away the blood. Yukina leaned down and put her head to Botan's chest.

"There's a heartbeat, but it is very light" Yukina said, worried.

"Yukina do you think you would be able to find out what is wrong with Botan?" Yusuke asked.

Yukina nodded weakly. Hiei wasn't even looking at Botan but he was looking at the window. Kurama looked up and saw Hiei just looking out the window. Kurama glared.

"Hiei do you think you could help!" Kurama asked vigorously. Hiei looked at him.

"I know what happened. The onna's been poisoned. This was a demon that had masked his scent." Hiei said. Kurama just stared at him.

Hiei pushed everyone away from Botan's body and kneeled beside her. He put his hand on her head and searched her mind. He found what he was looking for.

"This demon looks just like….me" Hiei said. Everyone just stared at him. He sighed and the started again.

"It was my father." Hiei said in agony. Pain shot through his heart. He had always kept an eye out for everyone in the group, but mostly Botan. He cared for Botan as much as he cared for his sister but he never showed it.

Hiei bowed his head low and shut his eyes. He clenched his fists. How could he let that happen to Botan?

Hiei leaned down and picked up Botan's body, bridal style. He walked into her room and laid her down on her bed. Her room was not that of what he expected it to be. The walls were dark blue, her dresser was black and he sheets had roses on them. The background of her sheets were black and on the roses, blood was dripping from them.

Hiei liked her room. It had a vibe security to it. Hiei looked at Botan, and saw how calm she looked. It looked like she was just sleeping. She was breathing and everything. Hiei went and turned off Botan's light. Only the setting sun lit the room. The room was darker and took on a comfort. No wonder Botan liked it so much.

Suddenly sleep drifted onto Hiei and he sat on the edge of Botan's bed. He moved some of her hair from her face and looked at her with drowsy eyes. Suddenly Hiei's eyes closed and he fell onto the bed.

The team waited five minutes until Yusuke got agrivated and stood up"What can be taking him so long!"Yusuke yelled,agrivated.

"yes i agree,What could be taking him so long?" Kurama calmly asked. Yusuke got up and went to Botan's room. He looked at the bed and saw hiei laying with her.

"Kurama! Come in here" Yusuke yelled. Kurama came walking in and saw the two on the bed.

"I can't believe Hiei took adavantage of the fact Botan is unconscious" Yusuke said in disgust about to go in the room to wake Hiei. Kurama grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"I don't think that is it. I don't think Hiei has been feeling to good. I bet he is tired and fell asleep" Kurama said. Yusuke looked at Kurama and then back at Botan's bed.

"I hope your right. I really do" Yusuke said. Kurama smirked.

"Am i ever wrong?" Kurama asked. Yusuke just looked at him and shook his head.

"I don't think you have ever been." Both men walked out of the room and back to Botan's dining room.

**Hiei's dream**

_"Hello Hiei" A voice called. Hiei turned around and saw no one but his father. hiei galred daggers at him._

_"SoI see you know it was me don't you?" Hiei's father chuckled. _

_"Why? What the hell did i ever do to you?" Hiei hissed. Hiei father chuckled again._

_"Why nothing, my son." Hiei's father said. Hiei scoffed in disgust._

_"Don't call me you son. You were never there and so i have no father. You tried to kill her but i know her better than you.she will make it through. Botan will not die because some bastard who claims to be my father killed her" Hiei hissed. Hiei's father smirked_

_"Oh but i just want something from her. She has the most priceless thing hidden in her body and i must have it. For me if i don't have it i will die." Hiei's Father said. Hiei galred at him more, if possible._

_"I would rather you die." Hiei said. Hiei's father's face saddened slightly._

_"How painfully mean to say Hiei. Why would you say such things to your own flesh and blood" Hiei's father asked._

_"I told you i have no father. I am not nice and you would know that if you were there." Hiei hissed._

_Just then a light appeared behind Hiei's father. Then hiei's father fell dead to the floor and standing there was Botan with a sword in her hand._

_Hiei just stared at Botan. Then he walked over to her and hugged her._

_"Are you alright?" Hiei asked botan. Just then Botan's eyes closed and she started falling. Hiei caught her._

_"Hiei i want to tell you.." Botan started. Hiei shook her lightly._

_"Hiei i"_

Just then Hiei shot up in Botan's bed. How long had he been there? It was now night and Botan still looked the way she did when hiei liad her down on her bed.

Hiei shook Botan lightly but she didn't move or wake up. Hiei shook her again, nothing. Just then there was a crash and a man landed in her room. It was...

&&&&&&&&&

well that is all. I will add a new chapter soon. R&R


	2. Who knew?

**Disclaimer: I do not own YuYu Hakusho**

"So I see the poison is taking effect. It didn't take too long on her, though." Hiei's father, Iyashii (A/N: It means vile, but split up Iya means detestable and shii means selfishness), chuckled. Hiei was already hovering over Botan, protecting her from his father.

"The poison isn't taking effect." Hiei was about to explain her healing powers but remembered not to give any more information away. The fire demon listened and heard Botan's heart beating, stronger than it was earlier, but still not strong enough.

"Now, dear son, if you would just move over so I may gain what I require for my life, then I will be gone." But even as his father requested that, he didn't move. Iyashii wasn't stupid. He knew his son would fight him for the woman but Iyashii was sure he would win.

"Don't call me son!" Hiei growled and closed his eyes as his skin turned green and many eyes popped up on his skin. This didn't surprise his father because Iyashii had been watching him for a while and knew of his demon side.

"Inside of your onna lies something I need. She holds the power to Makai right inside of her. I know because only the top ferry girl of spirit world is capable of carrying the orb. But it also takes a certain soul to carry the power as well. Someone with the darkest past that even her mind has erased it from her memory." Iyashii paused a moment, losing himself to thought. Hiei took it to himself at that moment to leap and attack his father.

"I'm just as quick, son." Iyashii was standing at the other side of the room, looking at his fingernails condescendingly. Hiei growled but went after his father again. Nothing was really happening because Hiei was keeping Iyashii away from Botan but he couldn't get a hit on his father because Iyashii was as fast as him.

Suddenly, without the two noticing, Botan's eyes shot open. Her breathing quickened and she leapt from the bed. The two demons stopped and looked at her. Iyashii was smirking and Hiei had wide eyes. Botan's eyes were blood red with black slits. Her hands had claws and her teeth had fangs. Her skin was still its creamy peach, but it fit just right.

Botan then grew a grin on her face and suddenly her skin changed from it beautiful cream to an exotic royal purple. Her skin turned hard and would feel like steel to anyone who touched it, not that they'd get much a chance after they saw her change. Neither demon knew quite what was going on but they knew that she was dangerous now.

"Well this poses a challenge for me but I think I'll still manage." Iyashii sighed with annoyance.

"Good Luck." Was the raspy, demonic reply from Botan. Almost as quick as light, just barely being able to feel her fly past, a smack was heard and Iyashii was on the floor. Botan was shaking near him, still inn her demonic looking form.

"How the hell?!" Iyashii screamed at her. Botan shook even more, her blood red eyes glowing with rage and danger. Suddenly the room was trembling almost with Botan's shaking. Then, slowly, Botan kneeled down to where Iyashii was lying on the floor.

"Time to go." Her smirk was deadly and suddenly, her sharp claws pierced the father demon's chest and her hand quickly disappeared into his chest, blood spattering everywhere. Slowly, so as to cause him much agony, she pulled her hand out. Blood was covering her hand and wrist, and her hand was glowing black. Then, as her hand came out fully, Iyashii's body fell limp.

"His dark soul." Botan muttered to herself, looking at it from all angles, though all it appeared to be was a small orb with a black hue and was coal black. Then the ferry girl started to shake again and her skin turned cream again and her eyes closed, making her claws disappear. Then her ferry girl body slumped to the floor.

Hiei ran over to her, and picked up her body and laid it on her bed. Her hand was still covered in blood but he wasn't worried about that. As the fire demon went to touch the hand that had his father's soul, Botan opened her eyes again. They were their normal pink-purple color and she blinked a couple of times. Hiei could feel her fingers moving, feeling the silky blood on them.

"What happened to me?" The top ferry girl asked as she glanced down at her hand. Shock didn't seem to overwhelm her too much. "Wait… what's in my hand?" Her voice was shaky as she looked at the orb. "It looks like a soul but…souls aren't supposed to be black."

"You tore out my father's soul." Hiei was still a little stunned she was able to do that. The demon watched as Botan's head slowly turned to look at the body on the floor. She didn't gasp or gain a look of horror, just of pity.

"So unfortunate that the father of a great man was so evil." Botan didn't blush as she spoke that which surprised Hiei. "But the only problem with this is my sense of déjà vu. I feel as if this scene has happened before." The ferry girl pondered for a minute and then lifted herself from the bed. "Well, might as well clean off my arm."

In silence the black haired demon followed the blue haired deity to her bathroom to clean. She didn't let go of the soul though and he wasn't sure why. He didn't understand why she would want to hold that piece of evil any longer. But he said nothing as she washed her arm while holing the black soul orb closely.

"Well, time to head off to Koenma. I need to know what to do with the soul." Botan's oar popped out and she hopped on, then turned to Hiei. "Do you want to come along?"

Hiei hopped on the oar while watching Botan's smile grow large. Silently they headed to Koenma's office. Botan with a soul and Hiei with questions.

**Well I'm pretty surprised with what I've come up with. I wrote the first chapter so long ago but I think I like my new plot point. Hopefully I won't have the next chapter up before too long.**


	3. Answers without access

**Disclaimer: I do not own YuYu Hakusho**

Botan knocked at Koenma's office door and heard a faint "come in" to which she opened the door, Hiei following behind her. Her boss was surprised to see her with Hiei but invited them to sit anyways. Somehow, Koenma had no papers on his desk. Both beings sat in two chairs in front of his desk.

"May I ask what it is you need Botan? It's your day off. Also may I ask why Hiei has come along with you?" Koenma was very curious as to what the Fire Demon wanted from him. Then a thought came to his head that made his eyes bulge. _Have they mated and have come to tell me?_

"I have this soul for you. I don't believe I've ever seen one like it. It's pure black." Botan then gently opened her hand to show the black soul orb. Koenma gasped and ran around his desk to stand in front of the two. He quickly reached out to grabbed it but Botan pulled back just as quick. By her facial expression, she wasn't sure why she did it.

"It's Hiei's father's soul. Somehow, though I'm not sure how, I extracted it from the man. I believe Hiei was there to see it and he can tell you." Botan held the soul close to her, something telling her to protect it. But in all truth, Botan feared the soul she held in her hands and was unknown to what possessed her to protect it.

"Hiei, would you care to tell me what happened to Botan today?" Koenma had a feeling he already knew what had happened but still needed to hear a witness account. The young prince was also confused as to why Botan refused to let the soul go.

"She turned demon and tore out his soul with her claws." His voice was cold and emotionless as usual, but if you were anyone who knew him well enough you would hear a form of confusion behind his statement.

"What did she look like?"

"The Onna turned a dark purple, grew claws, and had blood red eyes with black slits. She moved faster than my father and I." Hiei once again was emotionless but he was hoping for some answers, not just giving them.

"That's what I thought." Koenma muttered to himself and shook his head. Then he turned to Botan and went to grab the soul but she tore her hand away again. "Botan, I need the soul from you."

"I know you do but _I_ need it more." Her voice was very confused but she said the statement clearly like she knew what she meant by it.

"Why do you think you need it?" Koenma already knew the answer as to why she needed it. It was because of the Makai orb she held in side. If she put souls into her body the orb would eat them, thus becoming stronger, ready to take over the world.

"I'm not sure, but I can't let you have it. This soul…" Botan trailed off and gripped the soul tightly. Then her head shot up to look at Koenma. "Sir, I refuse to let it go!"

"Hiei, I need you to hold her down!" Koenma then turned teenage and leapt onto Botan, shoving her onto the ground and then staying on top of her, trying to grasp her hand. The ferry girl was flailing left and right all the while gripping onto the soul.

Hiei wasn't sure what had taken over him at that moment but he shoved Koenma off Botan and stood in front of her. Botan, shorter than Hiei, stood behind him and peeked out, looking at Koenma with apologetic eyes. Koenma was just as confused as everyone else, but Hiei knew what he wanted.

"Answers, now." Hiei growled out to the prince. Koenma sighed and sat down.

"But the ones you want I cannot tell you. I'm not allowed by law of my father and by moral of myself. So no, you don't get answers." Koenma's back was straight and his voice commanded an end of discussion.

"Fine, you don't get the soul." Hiei smirked and turned with Botan and left the office. They hopped onto Botan's oar and left. Koenma held nothing against her because she didn't understand why it was happening, but the prince didn't understand Hiei's actions.

"What answers were you asking for, Hiei?" Botan asked over the roaring wind.

"Background, pasts, why he needs my father's soul, why you need my father's soul, and if what lies inside of you is really there like my father said it was." Hiei answered curtly over the wind. He activated his Jagan eye and probed her memories, trying to see if there was anything from before she was a ferry girl.

"Why are you in my head, Hiei?" The blue haired girl asked kindly, not at all angered. She was too confused to be angered.

"I'm looking for your memories of before you were a ferry girl." Hiei was searching deep but still could find nothing.

"Oh, I wouldn't bother. Koenma washed them all out, saying it was best if I didn't know. I believed him and never searched." Hiei stopped searching abruptly, anger rising at the prince for his audacity to erase one's memories.

"I think you'd better start looking." Hiei coldly stated. Botan cocked her head to the side, a slight smile playing on her lips.

"But I have no access to the ferry girl files. Only Koenma and Enma are allowed access to the files." Botan sighed, wishing she really did know. Hiei smirked slightly and leaned toward her, hoping she could hear him over the wind.

"I'm allowed access."

"No you're not. Only Koenma…oh! You don't mean access, do you?" Botan's glare was playful. Hiei said nothing as the soared over to her apartment.

**Well there's the end of chapter two. I know no one is really reading this story anymore considering I changed the title and wrote the first chapter years ago but I'll still continue.**


	4. Files found of Untold Pasts

**Disclaimer: I do not own YuYu Hakusho**

They landed in front of Botan's apartment and hopped off her oar. Quickly they headed into her house and she sat down on the couch, ready to hear whatever plan Hiei had. Hiei leaned against the wall and an awkward silence loomed over them. The fire demon acted as if he didn't notice it but Botan had to fidget every so often, giving a look of light fear on her face.

"So, what were you planning on doing to get the ferry girl files?" Botan asked quietly, still looking slightly uncomfortable with the silence.

"Breaking in seems the only logical choice, Baka Onna." Hiei said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Botan glared at him, annoyed by his arrogance.

"Would it kill you to be a bit nicer to me?" Botan huffed. Hiei smirked slightly, still standing in his same spot.

"Yes, it would." Botan growled low in the back of her throat with his answer but didn't fight him.

"What's the main reason you want these files?" She figured as long as she was able to, she would ask him questions and try to get answers.

"Why do you need my father's soul?" Hiei retorted which made Botan's lax hands quickly clench into fists.

"I don't know. Something is just telling me to keep it. It says that I need to keep it so I can get stronger. I don't know why I would need to get stronger but I can't seem to let it go." The ferry girl glanced down at the black orb in her hand, almost forgetting it had been there all that time.

"Tomorrow, when at work, sneak into the toddler's office and try to find the key or code or whatever it is to get into those files. The only way my father would know what was inside of you was because of your past." Hiei said, his voice cold and emotionless like usual. But his last statement made Botan form a question.

"What did he say was inside of me?" Hiei had been saying something was inside of her for quite a while but she didn't bother to ask. Maybe it had something with her need to keep the soul.

"The power that controls Makai." His answer was blunt and to the point but he sounded slightly confused.

"Hiei…" A perfect plan was forming in her head. The fire demon glanced at her and saw she had a slightly evil smirk on her face. Then she turned to him fully and smiled, teeth shown, but it wasn't one of happiness. "You're good at convincing people to do things, right?"

"Hn." But Hiei nodded his head slightly to affirm the truth. He watched as a glint formed in her eyes and she stood to start pacing.

"Why don't we just kidnap Koenma and force him to tell us? Enma is too busy to deal with his son at the moment." Botan wasn't sure why she had thought up her plan. She knew she didn't really want to know her past but something told her that kidnapping Koenma was a perfect way to find out and she needed to find out.

"You're smart every once in a while." Hiei chuckled slightly. Botan glared at him, growling slightly.

"You're not the only smart one in a group, jerk." A mood had struck her and she wasn't feeling up to being insulted very much. Hiei just shrugged and continued to lean against the wall. Her insult was nothing to him.

"So, when should we grab him?" Botan asked. Hiei sighed and pushed off the wall, heading to her front door.

"Tonight would be best." Hiei started out her door and she hurried to follow him. They started walking to the forest where she could take off easier. "If we tell him that you decided to give the soul back because you realized that you didn't need it, then he'll believe you. Then once he gets close enough, I grab him and we'll head off."

"Sounds like a good plan." Botan said and they hopped on her oar and were off to spirit world in a jiffy. The flight was quiet because there wasn't much planning that needed to be done. Soon they were in front of Koenma's doors, the soul resting in Botan's hand. For some reason she couldn't seem to let it from her grasp. The two hopped off her oar and knocked at the prince's doors. They got an order to go in and they opened the door and walked over to his desk.

"Sir, I've decided to give you the soul. I guess I was just going slightly crazy at that moment. You know me, I'm a ditz." Hiei 'hn'ed in agreement to which Botan ignored him. "So you can have it now. Hiei just came to see his father was being taken to the right place." Botan held open her palm with the soul in it. Koenma walked around his desk and headed straight for the soul. With speed that was only matched by Botan, who, when she was a demon, was better than his, Hiei had Koenma pinned up against the wall with his Katana out.

Botan closed her hand and smiled apologetically at her boss. She needed to know what her past was; although she wasn't sure she wanted to know in the first place. Koenma had let out a yelp and was now sweating slightly while Hiei held him against the wall. It was a strange scene but it was happening.

"Take us to where the ferry girl files are held and let us in." Hiei ordered from the Prince who was in teenager form. He nodded and Hiei let him down and he rubbed his neck gingerly. The Katana was right against the back of his neck, making sure he didn't do anything stupid, like try to call his father or anyone for help.

"I'm sorry sir, but I have to know." Botan made a cat face, slightly nervous of what would happen after she found out. But they headed down the halls, Hiei walking right beside the prince, making sure he gave no signs. The three didn't want to look suspicious in front of the workers. After a walk that seemed to consist of ten minutes, they had reached a large set of doors.

"Alright, now let us in." No one was down the hallway and Hiei had his katana against Koenma's neck again. The prince pulled out the eye scanner and it opened the doors for him. Hiei and Botan followed, finding another set of doors that took the prince's fingerprints. Quickly they were let in, to which there was another set of doors which needed his voice activation and spoken code word. Then, coming to the last set of doors, Koenma placed in an odd shaped key, turned it, then punched in a code, to which the doors opened to a large library, full of ferry girl information and past information that no one knew of.

"Find the Onna's files." Within a minute, the three were looking at a large folder placed on a beautifully crafted gold and marble table. The file was larger than most of the others. It was a manila folder that was stuffed to its brim and neither demon, spirit, nor prince opened the folder. Botan was slightly scared to learn what was inside but finally after a few moments she stepped toward the folder.

The blue haired deity sat down in the chair provided and opened her folder, nearly gasping at the first picture there. She was a human but not without bruises and scars across her face. After a second, the spirit realized that was her death picture. When Botan was human she had long brown hair. Just by looking at it you could tell it was thin. And according to the records papers she had light blue eyes.

"I guess this will take a while so…" Botan trailed off, never looking up from the papers. Hiei sat in a chair across from her and Koenma sat beside her, being her support. But the blue haired girl gripped onto the soul that still was in her hands, making sure Koenma wasn't trying to grab it.

(The italics are what she's reading or whatever is on the papers.)

_Name: Renee Astrid Alden _

_Renee origins:__ French, "Reborn"_

_Astrid origins:__ Scandinavian, "Devine strength"_

_Alden origins:__ English, "Old; wise protector"_

"Your parents knew what they were talking about when they named you. You were British when you were alive." Koenma said quietly while smiling. "We didn't give you your original name because we feared you might go looking up on yourself, not that you would find too much. Botan was the name my father chose."

Botan heard and nodded her head to what he said but for the most part kept reading about herself. She did agree with Koenma that her parents did a good job on naming her. She was reborn, was given divine strength, and became old and was to protect those around her with her wisdom.

_Height: 5"1'_

_Eye color: light blue_

_Hair color: dark brunette_

_Age: 19 years old_

_Birth date: unknown, records were burnt, proper origins unknown. Rose in Britain._

_Marriage status: single, no relationships known of_

_Mother: Emma Madeline Ancil (born in France)_

_Father: Aleo Alvis Alden (born in Germany)_

_Siblings: None known of. Parents changed names and fled the country to America_

_Blood type: O- (can give blood to anyone)_

_Death occurrence: Insane institution in Georgia in America_

"So…did my parents leave me behind when they fled?" Botan asked. Koenma shook his head.

"No, they went to Georgia and left you to the institution. They said you had been having crazy dreams while in Britain and would run off on many occasions, not appearing until two or three weeks later. After the third time you left, they stopped calling the cops. The weird thing was no one would see you leave you house or anything. But when you would come home you would be distraught and beaten. They would always ask but you would tell them nothing." Koenma explained. "They went to America when you were sixteen, three years before your death."

"Where did I go?" Botan asked but Koenma just nodded to the folder, telling her to read on. The ferry girl nodded her head and started reading. Koenma figured if she really wanted to find out, he wasn't going to tell her.

_Claims at the institution:__ Going to a different world full of "demons." One particular "demon" named "Iyashii" kept meeting up with her and after befriending her would beat her senseless for a few weeks at a time. Then he would return her. The way they got to the "demon world" was by a "portal" that would open up and they would step through, landing in his castle. He would then proceed to beat her, and then rape her, hoping to conceive a child within her to bring to the human world. _

_Happenings at Institution:__ Whole building would have to be searched for patient. Would disappear for a week or two at a time, reappearing with scars. Explanations given were the same as the claims. Staff would assume patient did the beatings and scars herself, after a while assumptions were made that it was someone else or the emotional scars of previous beatings by parents. Background checked into, parents never beat patient as child._

_Controls of episodes:__ Medicines and shock therapy. Sometimes water therapy done as well. Seemed to make situations worse sometimes. Most of time it would knock her out and once awoken would disappear again. Found pills hidden under bed in the corner, thrown up after being taken._

Botan slowly lifted her head, looking straight at Hiei. The fire demon noticed this and stared back at her. The ferry girl's bottom lip was quivering, almost as if she were to cry. Then suddenly they all heard a clink and looked down to see that Botan had dropped the soul. Koenma grabbed it carefully and then looked back at Botan with sympathy.

"I know how your father knew me. He recognized my aura." Botan quietly whispered. Then she slid the institutions records toward Hiei and started on the next page. The handwriting on it was sloppy, like it had been written fast and with a shaky hand. At the top of the page it said she had written it.

"_Makai was filled with strange plants and flowers. Its air was toxic to humans so Iyashii would give me a small pill to make it breathable for me. Mainly the demon world was filled with, of course, demons of many shapes and sizes. Iyashii for the most part looked human except for his black, slightly spiky hair that had a small bit of white throughout it. I didn't know if it meant he was getting old or what._

"_The first time he took me to the castle he was very kind and nice to me. He fed me and gave me gifts, giving me a beautiful kimono. Then after the fifth time I saw him he threw me against the wall, chained me to it, and started to attack me. He would claw at me, tear open my skin, hit me, and then at the end he would rape me. When I asked him why he said that he wanted a demon in the ningen world so that he would be able to take it over. The next time he showed up I told him I didn't want to go back but he picked me up by my collar and threw me into the portal before I could even scream._

"_The details of the raping were gross and painful to think of. I lost myself to him, though I didn't want to. Well I kind of did but not at that moment. I wanted to know him better, even though I thought he was beautiful. But after he attacked me, his beauty seemed to disappear. I hated his face and feared it every time I would hear the portal. After a few more visits I stopped struggling with him. He also stopped talking to me. Then after the 30__th__ visit, he just would rape me. Of course scratches would appear because that was what would happen with demons sometimes during sex. _

"_When I heard we were moving, I thought I was rid of him. But somehow he found out and created a portal to my new home in Georgia. Little did I know he also created one in the asylum that I would be put in as well. I know you all think I'm insane but I'm really not. I just wish I knew how to bring you all there. Abigail believes me. She says she visited that place as well. But she knew a demon named Daniel. I am so glad I'm not alone anymore."_

Botan sat there wondering who Abigail was and who the demon Daniel was. But there was no more writing. The rest of the papers were her institution upkeep and all the background on her and her parents. Also all the medication given to her in the asylum and the treatments were what made up most of the folder. But then she looked to see about her elementary school. There was a paper from her in there. The handwriting was scrawl and chicken scratch mainly but that wasn't too hard to read. It was also in big letters that children always wrote in.

"_My name is Renee Astrid Alden. I am seven years old. I go to Allen Jordan's elementary school. My favorite color is the color blue and my best friend is Ayameko Chokichi. She is from Japan and came here last year. She loves the color blue as well. We always have so much fun together. When we go and play we like to pretend that we own a store and we sell acorns, branches, pebbles, stones, dirt, and random broken pens to the other kids on the play ground. The money they have to have is not broken pencils or pens, crayons, paper, pencil sharpeners, and erasers. Ayameko and I would always lose our school supplies. That's how we got more."_

Botan looked up at Koenma, who was examining the soul, and tapped his shoulder. He looked up slowly, wanting to make sure she wasn't crying. The ferry girl was not crying but had a curious look in her eyes.

"Who was Ayameko and how long were we friends?" Botan watched as Koenma smiled slightly.

"You two were friends until you moved. Both of you were devastated. It was sad to watch you two say goodbye." Koenma trailed off, thinking of memories that Botan lacked. Without breaking eye contact with her boss, the blue haired girl slid the other papers she had read to Hiei.

"But who is she? You never told me." Botan asked. This made Koenma break into a huge smile.

"Ayameko is now known as Ayame, my girlfriend." Botan gasped as she heard her boss say that.

"Onna, does it say if you ever conceived a child in there?" Hiei finally spoke up after being so quiet. Botan blinked but then quickly searched through the pages and finally found a page from her institution. In small letters it said:

_Children of any sort:_

**And there's my cliffy for you guys! I hope you enjoyed it!**


	5. Meeting the Past

**Disclaimer: I do not own YuYu Hakusho**

Botan stared down at the paper and a smile broke out onto her face. She looked up and shook her head slowly. Hiei let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. Koenma smiled for the joy of his ferry girl. But then he poked the paper so that she would keep reading. There was more on how she died.

_Death at Institution:__ Patient, after a disappearance, lay in bed, refusing to take meds and refusing to eat. Had neurotic episodes for three days. Flailing randomly, shrieking that the "demon" named "Iyashii" was coming for her. Would hold her stomach on occasions, gently, and then would begin to tear at it wildly. Patient would calm down when told we would perform shock treatment on her. Seven days later, patient only ate three meals, each on separate days. She was put to bed and staff found her dead, with a lack of oxygen the next morning. Suspicions that Abigail suffocated her with a pillow. Abigail found dead as well. Suicide Pact is assumed._

"Why did Abigail kill herself?" Botan asked, re-reading everything on that small paragraph.

"When we looked at it, we found that Abigail had been impregnated with Daniel's baby. When you were alive, both of you showed the same symptoms. Iyashii had impregnated you as well. Abigail had killed you because she knew your suffering, then she ripped a piece of cloth form her nightgown and tied it around her neck, so she would suffocate as well." Koenma sadly explained.

"But why did we have those symptoms?" Botan hadn't ever learned about what would happen to a human if it held a demon's baby inside of them.

"The medicines they were giving you were killing the baby. Its immune systems weren't close to being built and so it started to fight back, kicking at your insides, and breaking your bones sometimes. But then the babies started to send demonic energy to kill off the medicines and it started to reach your brain, which demonic energy on a human shouldn't do. So both Abigail and you decided that the only way things would work was if you died." Koenma looked away as he was explaining. He didn't want to explain to Botan what had happened Abigail but he knew she would ask in a moment.

"Where's Abigail now?" Botan had a very bad feeling with Koenma looking away from her. Her boss looked back but didn't meet her eyes.

"Botan…she committed suicide. Where do all of our suicides go?" His voice was mournful and depressed for his friend. Koenma assumed that Botan would begin to cry, accept it, or just ignore it, but she didn't.

"Then get her out of Hell! Why would you send her to Hell? I want her out now!" Botan shot up out of her chair while screaming. Her papers went flying but no one bothered to pick them up. Koenma's eyes were wide, Hiei's were cold, and Botan's were wild.

"She helped me out of hell and you dare send her to it when she suffered just as much as I." Botan's voice lowered and she stared down at her boss with cold dark eyes. Her voice was deadly and sharp. "I want you to get her out now and so help, Koenma, if you don't do it now, then I will go find Enma and demand it myself."

Koenma nodded his head, his eyes shocked because she had never addressed him by just his name before. He stood and waited for the two of them. Botan collected up the papers, put them in the folder, and started toward the door, folder in hand. Her boss quickly followed her but didn't unlock the door.

"Botan, those files need to stay in here. I'm not allowed to let you take them out. Technically, I was allowed to show you them, but still, that's not the point." Koenma said his voice strict. Botan's eyes were cold and uncaring.

"Then you either add me to the people who are allowed into this room or you give me my folder." Koenma knew he couldn't let her into the people allowed in so he sighed and opened the door as they started out of the room. Botan let herself have one last glance at the beautiful room and then watched as the doors shut behind her.

"There's more in that folder that I don't want you to read but I suppose you have every right to read it. Just don't change because of what you read. That was your past and this is you now." Koenma said. But then Botan remembered something that she had yet to mention.

"Koenma-sama, what's inside me?" Her voice was collected and careful but she had to be sure and had to know that what she had was the truth. She listened as her boss sighed and rubbed his temples as another door opened and let them out.

"We placed the power of Makai in you because the ferry girl with the darkest past but the purest soul would be the only one who could take such care of a great evil." Koenma heard his top ferry girl gasp and looked to see she was glaring at him.

"Makai is not an evil place. It helped create some of the greatest demons we know. Never disgrace their birthplace." Botan just about growled at her boss and hurried through the last door. Her stance was strong and commanding as she waited for the two behind her. Hiei was being his usual quiet self but was listening to every word. The fire demon was quite surprised that Botan had defended a place full of demons, one of which she had being raped in.

"I'll be back Botan. Both you and Hiei go to my office, I'll meet you there." Koenma called and then stepped through an odd looking portal. In silence the duo headed to her boss's office and sat down in his chairs.

"I never knew that I had such a bad past. I wonder where my parents went to after they dropped me off." Botan was just talking out loud to herself. Hiei wasn't much paying attention to her, which she didn't expect. After a moment, they heard a weird pop noise and then Koenma's office doors opened. He walked in with what looked to be a ghost.

"Are you Abigail?" Botan asked after a moment. The ghost woman, no older than Botan was, nodded her head but looked confused.

"Who are you?" To Hiei, the woman's voice was air, almost wispy, but to Botan it was clear as day. For a second, all was still as the two stared at each other. Then, Botan's eyes rolled back in her head and she fainted onto the ground. Koenma quickly ran over to her, knowing what had happened. After a moment, her eyes opened again.

"Abigail?" Botan called out, her voice slightly hoarse, as if she had been yelling and shrieking. The ferry girl looked up to see Abigail's ghost and she shook her head slightly.

"Renee?" The ghost woman called back to her.

**Alright, I'm going to end it there. Sorry guys, I'll get to the romance soon enough.** __


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